Yo dont text me then not text me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
