Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
