oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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