Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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