you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
