well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
