the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
