i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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