Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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