Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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