So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
