I look better un-naked...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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