I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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