I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If heβs not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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