She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
