I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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