you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
