Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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