i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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