): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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