quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
