I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
