he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
