Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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