I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
