I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You don't make any sense
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