dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
