When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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