I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
