Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
and she was petting her beer can
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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