you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have fence marks all over my body
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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