Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm going to jail i love you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
