Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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