i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
