I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
