She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
