All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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