dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He kissed a someone with a penis
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
