just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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