about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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