well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
