she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize