Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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