I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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