It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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