So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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