someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
