so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
