the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
