Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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