i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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