i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
