I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
