I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
