dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
