Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
