there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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