Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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