Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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