so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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