And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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