dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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