so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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